Saturday, March 19, 2011

Posting on ambien again.

Not the best idea but it's a little fun and it's getting me over my dry spell of not posting. It was fun untill I had to retype nearly all words.

Things I don't like:

the wibbly floor
the broken shower rod
the oven not regulating the temp
feeling stranded, alone with my child
anxious to start school so maybe I'll feel joy in interacting with other adults
maybe I'll be super intimidated by the other studets.... that I"M NOT IN A COMPETITION WITH! so no intimidation. Thats the goal.
Ihate that I'm on Ambien and fading quickly, because I can't regilate my sleep. 3-4am is insane. Midnight tonight with an active caffine filled day tomorrow, 11sleep tomorrow... pending my final is finished. Then monday ambian around 9:30-10 is the goal. There has to be another way to regulate the sleep scdrulre of lightly bipolar lady.
Well I hope it works and I don't need to fix it for a while. Things have been so good since her birth but with all this stress I feel liitle bits of crazy sneeking in.

I think I'm going to need to find a job. I think it will help. But it has to be super low stress. No drama crap. Can I pretend to just be a pretty face in a fabric shop or sling coffee? A new nanny position would be prefect. One kid, either young/baby or slightly older than Kiddo.

Ugh have to sleep.

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