Saturday, March 19, 2011

Posting on ambien again.

Not the best idea but it's a little fun and it's getting me over my dry spell of not posting. It was fun untill I had to retype nearly all words.

Things I don't like:

the wibbly floor
the broken shower rod
the oven not regulating the temp
feeling stranded, alone with my child
anxious to start school so maybe I'll feel joy in interacting with other adults
maybe I'll be super intimidated by the other studets.... that I"M NOT IN A COMPETITION WITH! so no intimidation. Thats the goal.
Ihate that I'm on Ambien and fading quickly, because I can't regilate my sleep. 3-4am is insane. Midnight tonight with an active caffine filled day tomorrow, 11sleep tomorrow... pending my final is finished. Then monday ambian around 9:30-10 is the goal. There has to be another way to regulate the sleep scdrulre of lightly bipolar lady.
Well I hope it works and I don't need to fix it for a while. Things have been so good since her birth but with all this stress I feel liitle bits of crazy sneeking in.

I think I'm going to need to find a job. I think it will help. But it has to be super low stress. No drama crap. Can I pretend to just be a pretty face in a fabric shop or sling coffee? A new nanny position would be prefect. One kid, either young/baby or slightly older than Kiddo.

Ugh have to sleep.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


My favorite watch is a Nixon watch. Some guy bought it for me trying to win his way into my pants. It didn't work, I never saw him again, and I wore the watch for years till the battery died. Now it's been sitting for years waiting for that new battery. This is the closest picture I can find. Mine was a women's style so the band was more narrow/tapering, and the coloring was black and a dark magenta/red. I miss it.

Nixon has so many great styles out now that I wish I could afford a new watch. I haven't worn one in a while and I don't think that I'd use it much, damn cell phones, but this one really caught my eye. It's a men's style so I suspect it would look more than obnoxious on my teeny tiny wrists but still... I oogle.

Nixon Murf

These on the other hand are women's styles that I could more likely pull off.


Rubber Re-run


Monday, February 21, 2011


Ready for more sunshine.

I've never created a treasury list on etsy before so I threw together some things from my favorites list to create this: So very ready....

I want to decorate my apartment in bright happy colors. I bought a little bookshelf at the thrift store tonight for $12. I think I'm going to paint it some shade of yellow. There was a matching bookshelf but I couldn't bring myself to get both. Now I'm wishing I had.

Beautiful as it is, it's all just STUFF and stuff I don't need. 

Well I could justify a few pillows for my couch... Oh and I forgot, I splurged and ordered this shower curtain. To be a little less harsh on myself, it's something I have to see all the time and I really wasn't finding many fabric ones cheaper.

I'm hoping I love it in person, and it works in the tiny bathroom without blinding. The vanity/sink doors are frosted glass and I think they'll match the pale aqua color in there. Also, I'm hoping it's more of a pink shade in there rather than red.
I may just end up returning it and getting a mostly white curtain. We'll see. I hate being so indecisive.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Over my head.

I am very slowly packing.

I went to my storage unit to see what I wanted to get rid of before moving. I guess I have a lot less than I thought, which is awesome, because there was a lot less in there than expected. Less to get rid of. What is with the redundancy? Did you get the picture, I have less?! Anyhow, to start with I pulled the TV, VCR/DVD, TV stand, and all my christmas decorations which will go in my parents garage. I also pulled out the boxes of kitchen crap in the hopes of going through it before the big move. I have more kitchen stuff than anything and I'm a sucker for old vintage-y tupperware and bakeware. (iboughttwonewbakewaredishesatthethriftstoretoday...shhh) My new kitchen isn't that big but I think I'll have enough storage for most things. The giant electric wok I forgot about might have to go, I need space for the spices. Apparently I'll need at least a cupboard or two for all my herbs and spices. You'd think I cook a different ethnic dish every night. Hmm, maybe I should keep the wok afterall...

I nabbed an old vintagey highchair outside an antique shop for free a few years back. I thought the kid might be interested in using it for dolls but she couldn't care much less about those. Besides, it's a full size wooden highchair. Where the hell was I planning on putting that? So, anyone interested in a vintage high chair? Or maybe a school desk. I'm definitely ditching the high chair but I'm still unsure about the desk. I have two and I can find reasons to keep both but still feel like I should be getting rid of one. I'm suppose to be paring down what I own, right?

The clothes packing is happening reluctantly, but since I took down the closet organizers they used to be in I have no where else to put them. I'm not really concerned with having enough to wear for the next week or two but I feel like if I pack them I'm going to suddenly lose all my underwear or something. Besides the clothes I don't think I really have that much to pack. Probably more than I think. I'll see after tomorrow. I plan to bust my butt packing as much as I can so I can hopefully feel less stressed and get some other things done. I was planning on finishing the kiddo's quilt before moving, I was going to do some homework in advance so as to not have to worry about it while moving, and I bought a bunch of wool sweaters today in the hopes of making a rug and/or pillows out of them. I wont have a sewing machine once I move so there is a reason behind the madness.

Illusions of grandeur. I have them.

Saturday, February 12, 2011


I had my hair appointment today. I printed out a few pictures of styles I liked but I really had very little of an idea of what I wanted to do with it when I got there. I knew I wanted SHORT hair and I had no idea what color. So when I arrived I grabbed the first hair book I saw, which was one for color rather than styles, and I found 3 pictures I loved within 60 seconds. After sitting down and showing my hairstylist we quickly sorted things out. I found a gorgeous red color which is similar to colors I've had before but it's slightly different somehow. I can't put my finger on it. And he cut the hair in between a really drastic photo I brought... this one:
... and a slightly longer curly version with slightly longer sides. So it's shaved around the sides, but with two little pieces in the front on either side which disguise the shavedness. The top is pretty much like that photo but a little longer in the front and a little shorter in the back. Did I mention that the color is beautiful? Beautiful.

That's the good part. The rest is just a huge ball-o-stress. I got stuck at the mall today because the power was knocked out for the whole city. I had to pay for my haircut via phone after I left and the power came back on. Took me nearly an hour to get out of the parking lot. Sucked. So I was gone a lot longer than I planned on. I felt guilty because my dad was only planning to watch the kiddo for 2-3hrs and it ended up being 5.5hrs. Now I have homework thats due tonight. I'm working a 24hr shift tomorrow starting at 7am and I'll need to leave by 6am. I have to finish up my daughter's valentines for her class at school. I was going to bake this cake with her but I think I might be too wiped out...

What else... Oh I have 2 loads of laundry to fold, and 2 more to wash. I hate laundry. I have more homework due on Monday. And I have about 2 weeks to pack everything. 

I keep telling myself that the packing will get easier after this weekend once I'm really not working anymore but that's because I casually forget about all the other things going on like the kid's first dentist appt on Tues, my massage on Wed, her swim class on Thurs, aerials class on Friday, a friend's potluck housewarming party on Sat, and Sunday I might just be free. I am never this busy normally and now when I have to pack and move. Oh jeez I just nearly had a panic attack thinking I had to register for classes on the 14th but it doesn't start till the 19th. Thank goodness. 

Blah blah blah, whine whine whine. Maybe a little, but I'm sure everything will work out just fine in the end even if I feel like I'm being crushed by it all right now.