Not the best idea but it's a little fun and it's getting me over my dry spell of not posting. It was fun untill I had to retype nearly all words.
Things I don't like:
the wibbly floor
the broken shower rod
the oven not regulating the temp
feeling stranded, alone with my child
anxious to start school so maybe I'll feel joy in interacting with other adults
maybe I'll be super intimidated by the other studets.... that I"M NOT IN A COMPETITION WITH! so no intimidation. Thats the goal.
Ihate that I'm on Ambien and fading quickly, because I can't regilate my sleep. 3-4am is insane. Midnight tonight with an active caffine filled day tomorrow, 11sleep tomorrow... pending my final is finished. Then monday ambian around 9:30-10 is the goal. There has to be another way to regulate the sleep scdrulre of lightly bipolar lady.
Well I hope it works and I don't need to fix it for a while. Things have been so good since her birth but with all this stress I feel liitle bits of crazy sneeking in.
I think I'm going to need to find a job. I think it will help. But it has to be super low stress. No drama crap. Can I pretend to just be a pretty face in a fabric shop or sling coffee? A new nanny position would be prefect. One kid, either young/baby or slightly older than Kiddo.
Ugh have to sleep.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Watch
My favorite watch is a Nixon watch. Some guy bought it for me trying to win his way into my pants. It didn't work, I never saw him again, and I wore the watch for years till the battery died. Now it's been sitting for years waiting for that new battery. This is the closest picture I can find. Mine was a women's style so the band was more narrow/tapering, and the coloring was black and a dark magenta/red. I miss it.
Nixon has so many great styles out now that I wish I could afford a new watch. I haven't worn one in a while and I don't think that I'd use it much, damn cell phones, but this one really caught my eye. It's a men's style so I suspect it would look more than obnoxious on my teeny tiny wrists but still... I oogle.
Nixon has so many great styles out now that I wish I could afford a new watch. I haven't worn one in a while and I don't think that I'd use it much, damn cell phones, but this one really caught my eye. It's a men's style so I suspect it would look more than obnoxious on my teeny tiny wrists but still... I oogle.
Nixon Murf
Chalet
Rubber Re-run
Vega
These on the other hand are women's styles that I could more likely pull off.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Yellow
Ready for more sunshine.
I've never created a treasury list on etsy before so I threw together some things from my favorites list to create this: So very ready....
I want to decorate my apartment in bright happy colors. I bought a little bookshelf at the thrift store tonight for $12. I think I'm going to paint it some shade of yellow. There was a matching bookshelf but I couldn't bring myself to get both. Now I'm wishing I had.
I've never created a treasury list on etsy before so I threw together some things from my favorites list to create this: So very ready....
I want to decorate my apartment in bright happy colors. I bought a little bookshelf at the thrift store tonight for $12. I think I'm going to paint it some shade of yellow. There was a matching bookshelf but I couldn't bring myself to get both. Now I'm wishing I had.
Beautiful as it is, it's all just STUFF and stuff I don't need.
Well I could justify a few pillows for my couch... Oh and I forgot, I splurged and ordered this shower curtain. To be a little less harsh on myself, it's something I have to see all the time and I really wasn't finding many fabric ones cheaper.
I'm hoping I love it in person, and it works in the tiny bathroom without blinding. The vanity/sink doors are frosted glass and I think they'll match the pale aqua color in there. Also, I'm hoping it's more of a pink shade in there rather than red.
I may just end up returning it and getting a mostly white curtain. We'll see. I hate being so indecisive.
I may just end up returning it and getting a mostly white curtain. We'll see. I hate being so indecisive.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Over my head.
I am very slowly packing.
I went to my storage unit to see what I wanted to get rid of before moving. I guess I have a lot less than I thought, which is awesome, because there was a lot less in there than expected. Less to get rid of. What is with the redundancy? Did you get the picture, I have less?! Anyhow, to start with I pulled the TV, VCR/DVD, TV stand, and all my christmas decorations which will go in my parents garage. I also pulled out the boxes of kitchen crap in the hopes of going through it before the big move. I have more kitchen stuff than anything and I'm a sucker for old vintage-y tupperware and bakeware. (iboughttwonewbakewaredishesatthethriftstoretoday...shhh) My new kitchen isn't that big but I think I'll have enough storage for most things. The giant electric wok I forgot about might have to go, I need space for the spices. Apparently I'll need at least a cupboard or two for all my herbs and spices. You'd think I cook a different ethnic dish every night. Hmm, maybe I should keep the wok afterall...
I nabbed an old vintagey highchair outside an antique shop for free a few years back. I thought the kid might be interested in using it for dolls but she couldn't care much less about those. Besides, it's a full size wooden highchair. Where the hell was I planning on putting that? So, anyone interested in a vintage high chair? Or maybe a school desk. I'm definitely ditching the high chair but I'm still unsure about the desk. I have two and I can find reasons to keep both but still feel like I should be getting rid of one. I'm suppose to be paring down what I own, right?
The clothes packing is happening reluctantly, but since I took down the closet organizers they used to be in I have no where else to put them. I'm not really concerned with having enough to wear for the next week or two but I feel like if I pack them I'm going to suddenly lose all my underwear or something. Besides the clothes I don't think I really have that much to pack. Probably more than I think. I'll see after tomorrow. I plan to bust my butt packing as much as I can so I can hopefully feel less stressed and get some other things done. I was planning on finishing the kiddo's quilt before moving, I was going to do some homework in advance so as to not have to worry about it while moving, and I bought a bunch of wool sweaters today in the hopes of making a rug and/or pillows out of them. I wont have a sewing machine once I move so there is a reason behind the madness.
Still.
Illusions of grandeur. I have them.
I went to my storage unit to see what I wanted to get rid of before moving. I guess I have a lot less than I thought, which is awesome, because there was a lot less in there than expected. Less to get rid of. What is with the redundancy? Did you get the picture, I have less?! Anyhow, to start with I pulled the TV, VCR/DVD, TV stand, and all my christmas decorations which will go in my parents garage. I also pulled out the boxes of kitchen crap in the hopes of going through it before the big move. I have more kitchen stuff than anything and I'm a sucker for old vintage-y tupperware and bakeware. (iboughttwonewbakewaredishesatthethriftstoretoday...shhh) My new kitchen isn't that big but I think I'll have enough storage for most things. The giant electric wok I forgot about might have to go, I need space for the spices. Apparently I'll need at least a cupboard or two for all my herbs and spices. You'd think I cook a different ethnic dish every night. Hmm, maybe I should keep the wok afterall...
I nabbed an old vintagey highchair outside an antique shop for free a few years back. I thought the kid might be interested in using it for dolls but she couldn't care much less about those. Besides, it's a full size wooden highchair. Where the hell was I planning on putting that? So, anyone interested in a vintage high chair? Or maybe a school desk. I'm definitely ditching the high chair but I'm still unsure about the desk. I have two and I can find reasons to keep both but still feel like I should be getting rid of one. I'm suppose to be paring down what I own, right?
The clothes packing is happening reluctantly, but since I took down the closet organizers they used to be in I have no where else to put them. I'm not really concerned with having enough to wear for the next week or two but I feel like if I pack them I'm going to suddenly lose all my underwear or something. Besides the clothes I don't think I really have that much to pack. Probably more than I think. I'll see after tomorrow. I plan to bust my butt packing as much as I can so I can hopefully feel less stressed and get some other things done. I was planning on finishing the kiddo's quilt before moving, I was going to do some homework in advance so as to not have to worry about it while moving, and I bought a bunch of wool sweaters today in the hopes of making a rug and/or pillows out of them. I wont have a sewing machine once I move so there is a reason behind the madness.
Still.
Illusions of grandeur. I have them.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Struggle
I had my hair appointment today. I printed out a few pictures of styles I liked but I really had very little of an idea of what I wanted to do with it when I got there. I knew I wanted SHORT hair and I had no idea what color. So when I arrived I grabbed the first hair book I saw, which was one for color rather than styles, and I found 3 pictures I loved within 60 seconds. After sitting down and showing my hairstylist we quickly sorted things out. I found a gorgeous red color which is similar to colors I've had before but it's slightly different somehow. I can't put my finger on it. And he cut the hair in between a really drastic photo I brought... this one:
... and a slightly longer curly version with slightly longer sides. So it's shaved around the sides, but with two little pieces in the front on either side which disguise the shavedness. The top is pretty much like that photo but a little longer in the front and a little shorter in the back. Did I mention that the color is beautiful? Beautiful.
That's the good part. The rest is just a huge ball-o-stress. I got stuck at the mall today because the power was knocked out for the whole city. I had to pay for my haircut via phone after I left and the power came back on. Took me nearly an hour to get out of the parking lot. Sucked. So I was gone a lot longer than I planned on. I felt guilty because my dad was only planning to watch the kiddo for 2-3hrs and it ended up being 5.5hrs. Now I have homework thats due tonight. I'm working a 24hr shift tomorrow starting at 7am and I'll need to leave by 6am. I have to finish up my daughter's valentines for her class at school. I was going to bake this cake with her but I think I might be too wiped out...
What else... Oh I have 2 loads of laundry to fold, and 2 more to wash. I hate laundry. I have more homework due on Monday. And I have about 2 weeks to pack everything.
That's the good part. The rest is just a huge ball-o-stress. I got stuck at the mall today because the power was knocked out for the whole city. I had to pay for my haircut via phone after I left and the power came back on. Took me nearly an hour to get out of the parking lot. Sucked. So I was gone a lot longer than I planned on. I felt guilty because my dad was only planning to watch the kiddo for 2-3hrs and it ended up being 5.5hrs. Now I have homework thats due tonight. I'm working a 24hr shift tomorrow starting at 7am and I'll need to leave by 6am. I have to finish up my daughter's valentines for her class at school. I was going to bake this cake with her but I think I might be too wiped out...
What else... Oh I have 2 loads of laundry to fold, and 2 more to wash. I hate laundry. I have more homework due on Monday. And I have about 2 weeks to pack everything.
I keep telling myself that the packing will get easier after this weekend once I'm really not working anymore but that's because I casually forget about all the other things going on like the kid's first dentist appt on Tues, my massage on Wed, her swim class on Thurs, aerials class on Friday, a friend's potluck housewarming party on Sat, and Sunday I might just be free. I am never this busy normally and now when I have to pack and move. Oh jeez I just nearly had a panic attack thinking I had to register for classes on the 14th but it doesn't start till the 19th. Thank goodness.
Blah blah blah, whine whine whine. Maybe a little, but I'm sure everything will work out just fine in the end even if I feel like I'm being crushed by it all right now.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Hair
I finally made an appointment to get my hair done, 9 months later. This is a pattern for me, huge gaps between haircuts. I think the problem is that I like big changes, I like to have fun with my hair... just so long as it doesn't unexpectedly make me look like a boy or turn green. Then I get upset. Very upset. Anyways. APPOINTMENT! It's a week away and I don't know what I want to do. Well I know what I would love to do but seeing as I'm not 22 anymore, and I really don't need anything to make me look any younger, I'm at a loss. Still I'm having fun looking for a design/color/style and oogling over beautiful hairstyles that I know wont suit me or that I'll never have because my hair is neither long nor straight.
Still....
Still....
color
cut
color
color and cut
cut
cut
Looking at these I also realize that I'll be restricted by upkeep. It needs to be easy/cheap upkeep so bright/white blondes, multi-colors, and bright colors are probably out of the question. Though my hair was a slighter darker shade than the first photo while I was pregnant, and the most compliments I've ever received on my hair was when it was bright pink. Little old ladies love the pink.
Can anyone find photos of some nice browns? I'm not a big brown/brunette fan but maybe there's an interesting brown that would look nice on my pale skin. (cooler rather than warmer)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Driving
...to Portland in the morning. Meeting at school to go over financial aid and loan options. I'm still hoping to get a call or an email to maybe do some home hunting but I'm not planning on it. Pretty much I'm driving near 4 hours there and back for a hour long meeting. But I volunteered myself for it because I figured it made a better impression, putting forth the effort to show up in person. It's going to be a long day and I hope I have the energy for it.
The kid is going with Papa to Canada to pick up my grandmother. She has to come down for some eye appointments. Work the health care systems on both sides of the border. Turns out she's going blind, which explains why the dishes she washes never look clean. I think I'm more nervous about the kid and my father being alone in a car for 3 hours more nerve-wracking than my meeting at school. But I've packed a bag of goodies, games, snacks, and surprises so I hope that's enough.
I don't know if I'll be back in time to put her to bed or not.
Boo.
The kid is going with Papa to Canada to pick up my grandmother. She has to come down for some eye appointments. Work the health care systems on both sides of the border. Turns out she's going blind, which explains why the dishes she washes never look clean. I think I'm more nervous about the kid and my father being alone in a car for 3 hours more nerve-wracking than my meeting at school. But I've packed a bag of goodies, games, snacks, and surprises so I hope that's enough.
I don't know if I'll be back in time to put her to bed or not.
Boo.
taxes
I just filed my taxes and even though I checked and double checked I feel like I must have entered something incorrectly. I should just be happy about it because it makes moving and the whole financial aid debacle that much easier and less stressful. Seriously, that number is a lot higher than I expected and my chest is pounding. This may be my largest tax return to date.
Well, perfect timing I suppose. Maybe it's just a sign that I'm on the right track with the right timing.
Other than that, I found a room for rent that sounds perfect for us. I didn't really want that, I mean I prefer a place of our own, but saving money would help so I tried looking at them on craigslist. I found one that was alright, and close to one of our favorite Portland parks, but it was pretty far out of the way and it didn't feel quite right. I wasn't disappointed when I received the email back just a few minutes ago saying that they didn't think we were the best fit for them. But then today I found another room for rent, a better room for rent, and I'm really excited about it. It's going to be disappointing if they're not interested in us. It's in a great neighborhood with everything in walking distance, has a school within a block or two and a park about 4 blocks off, is a fairly straight shot to the college, and is a great space. It's not just one room but more like two, with a kitchenette, and it's 600+sqft. Shared bathroom, that fine. There's already another kid in the house just a little older than mine, and the family sounds like one we'd get along with well. It's a cute house, cute space, which just adds icing to the cake.
I like it.
I'm going to stop talking about it.
Probably already jinxed it, right.
I hope they email/call me tomorrow.
Well, perfect timing I suppose. Maybe it's just a sign that I'm on the right track with the right timing.
Other than that, I found a room for rent that sounds perfect for us. I didn't really want that, I mean I prefer a place of our own, but saving money would help so I tried looking at them on craigslist. I found one that was alright, and close to one of our favorite Portland parks, but it was pretty far out of the way and it didn't feel quite right. I wasn't disappointed when I received the email back just a few minutes ago saying that they didn't think we were the best fit for them. But then today I found another room for rent, a better room for rent, and I'm really excited about it. It's going to be disappointing if they're not interested in us. It's in a great neighborhood with everything in walking distance, has a school within a block or two and a park about 4 blocks off, is a fairly straight shot to the college, and is a great space. It's not just one room but more like two, with a kitchenette, and it's 600+sqft. Shared bathroom, that fine. There's already another kid in the house just a little older than mine, and the family sounds like one we'd get along with well. It's a cute house, cute space, which just adds icing to the cake.
I like it.
I'm going to stop talking about it.
Probably already jinxed it, right.
I hope they email/call me tomorrow.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
design
I'm generally not good at settling on anything permanent. I like change. No wonder I'm having a hard time finding a design to settle on for this blog. I change it and it feels like a good fit for a week or so, then it just doesn't work for me anymore and I change it thinking I've found the answer then a week later... lather, rinse, repeat.
But who says I have to have the same design all the time. Look I can rhyme. So if it last for a few days, or if it last for months, I'm not going to stress over it. I like this design today and that's fine.
But who says I have to have the same design all the time. Look I can rhyme. So if it last for a few days, or if it last for months, I'm not going to stress over it. I like this design today and that's fine.
want
I am loving this magazine, or the little bits I've seen of it, and I seriously want a subscription. Alas, at $72/year I can't justify it. Even worse, that's only 4 issues and you have to pay extra since it's shipped from Canada. I understand the price but it's just too much for me.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
tabula rasa
Having been a huge fan of the tiny tumbleweed houses for years I'm personally not surprised that I'm considering moving my daughter and I into a studio. I guess I didn't do a good job sharing those thoughts with others because just about everyone around me seems to think I'm crazy or that I'll hate it if I do it. Don't get me wrong, I have my concerns but I'm still seriously considering it. I fight every day with resisting the urge to buy things I don't need. The urge to spend money I don't have. I hate it and I want to change it. I've been told that part of that is related to being bipolar, that bipolar people spend money like crazy or go on huge spending sprees. Sometimes I think about it, and maybe it's playing a part but it feels like a big fat excuse to just accept it at face value like that. I think more of it comes from growing up in a family where love was expressed with gifts. I love you, here's a new doll. I always got what I wanted (and more) for christmas/birthdays. I feel spoiled, and I usually end up disappointed with my birthday/christmas gifts now that I'm older. I hate that I feel disappointed or unloved over something so trivial and stupid and presents. This year christmas morning was awful. It wasn't until the next day that I realized that I got some great presents and I really loved them. I feel disgusted with myself, but that's how I felt. What concerns me most is passing this on to my kid so she expects certain things, or feels that way. I want her to be appreciative for what she has and to enjoy the process of making/giving gifts to others more so than "OMG PRESENTS!".
Where was I going?
I've been stumbling over some interesting articles, blogs, and whatnot lately and I think I'm going to try and make some big changes. I had already started paring down a few things for the move, with the intention of getting rid of more things as I packed and moved, but I think I need to be more drastic. Not 100 things drastic but heading that direction.
Current inspiration for changes:
Where was I going?
I've been stumbling over some interesting articles, blogs, and whatnot lately and I think I'm going to try and make some big changes. I had already started paring down a few things for the move, with the intention of getting rid of more things as I packed and moved, but I think I need to be more drastic. Not 100 things drastic but heading that direction.
Current inspiration for changes:
Saturday, January 22, 2011
e-glue
I love the idea of wall decals but I have such a hard time finding ones I really love. Etsy is flooded with them but the same themes run through nearly every shop. Having stated that, I just ran across e-glue accidentally and I love them. Love.
These would be perfect for the kiddo.
She loves lions.
A few others...
My favorite things about these are the size, and that the colors are customizable. Makes all the difference.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Ambien
So when I really, really, mess up my sleep schedule the only thing I've found that can kick me back is Ambien. And Ambien kicks hard and I fall down. Not an ideal situation but it works. Right now I'm sitting her fighting against it as long as I can. I used to take it more regularlly when I was younger and I used to paint and blog all while I was in that half awake/asleep stage it puts you in. Which is how this post started. I have a smattering of blogs all over the internet and none of them get much action. None of them feel like the right place, or only feel that way for a short time. Maybe it's just that my brain goes 55 different directions that no one blog would make sense containing them.
I don't even know what this blog if for exactly. I just wanted another one and I hadn't tried out blogger in a while... and typepad was frustrating me. I think I still prefer it but its too soon to call.
I wanted to stop being so consumery. But most everything on here is about things to buy. Is looking better than buying? Not really because I still want to buy it even if I cant. I think trying to stop buying things while in the midst of a probable move is crazy. There will be money spent. Trucks, uhaul, gas, food, boxes, tape, ect. And then once I'm settled I'll realize I'm missing things. No trashcan, no broom or vacuum, I don't think I have a can opener. Nothing major but they make excuses to spend money.
I hate money. And Ambien says to go to sleep now.
I just need to make it to Thursday and the waiting game will be over. I'll function better making solid plans rather than ones built on possibilities, or whatever is hanging around here.
I don't even know what this blog if for exactly. I just wanted another one and I hadn't tried out blogger in a while... and typepad was frustrating me. I think I still prefer it but its too soon to call.
I wanted to stop being so consumery. But most everything on here is about things to buy. Is looking better than buying? Not really because I still want to buy it even if I cant. I think trying to stop buying things while in the midst of a probable move is crazy. There will be money spent. Trucks, uhaul, gas, food, boxes, tape, ect. And then once I'm settled I'll realize I'm missing things. No trashcan, no broom or vacuum, I don't think I have a can opener. Nothing major but they make excuses to spend money.
I hate money. And Ambien says to go to sleep now.
I just need to make it to Thursday and the waiting game will be over. I'll function better making solid plans rather than ones built on possibilities, or whatever is hanging around here.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Valentines
Some of my favorites I've found so far:
From the TheMayberrySparrow
From Buttonhead
my favorites so far, and for $10 I think it's reasonable
From DelightfullyNoted
From itsybitsypaper
From moncherdesigns
the kid would love these
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I've been exhausted this past week. I felt like I was playing catch-up in my classes and it was only the first week. Plus, my eye was going crazy twitching like it was detoxing from meth. I finally got some sleep and it calmed down so I spent some time clearing out my feeds and here's what I found.
Amazing tear off wallpaper that I would buy if was sold stateside.
A much more beautiful design for deterring flies.
Slow Cooker Chicken Posole Stew via Simply Sugar & Gluten Free
Looks delicious and is what's for dinner tonight.
And a cute little madras plaid dress that the kid would look great in.
The tear off wallpaper is killing me. I'm wondering if I could get a roll of removable vinyl, like what they make all those crazy wall stickers from, and make my own apartment friendly version. I think thats one of the things that I like the least about renting an apartment, plain walls. And even if you can paint it, it's an expensive endeavor and you just have to paint it white again when you leave. There are the aforementioned wall stickers but I don't see many that I like and that aren't overdone. Plus, they're not usually cheap. I'll figure something out to brighten it up.
If nothing else, I have some blank canvasses and I can usually find some more on sale somewhere. A floor to ceiling wall of paintings sounds doable.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Bathroom, oh bathroom
Curtains of a different nature.
Nature Damask
Actually, with no intent of purchasing a shower curtain until I had found an actual apartment, this one fits the bill perfectly. I love the design and the kid will love the animals that are making up the design. Plus, from this seller it also includes a set of markers to color it with. WIN.
Bought.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
More curtains?
Well kind of. If I end up with two bathrooms, and I know it's highly unlikely, I'd like a fun bathroom for the kid that we would both would approve of...
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